Ordeal E Ishq

Mass meter - ** (thanks to the hype)
Class meter - * (sorry)



Post a very promising Debut with Kal Ho Na Ho, Nikhil Advani's follow up Salaam E Ishq is like that promisory note that could not live upto its promise...:-(
The director has broken the umblical cord from his mentor, but to express his gratitude there are lots of mentor referencing through out the movie as if this movie was a promotional vehicle to the movies of Karan Johar and for the next season of koffee with Karan .....Phew !!!

Have you ever given it a thought that our western counterparts make movies with shorter duration but better content, and here is a prime example of the editor going to sleep thereby inflicting the audience with a 3 hr 36min Magnum Bore-Us .

I have serious reservations with movies which begins with a song (exceptions do exists)...it only demonstrates lack of creative ideas. Think about this, it is suppose to be movie on celebration of Love with stories involving 6 couple and according to me only 2.5 stories barely reach 500 metres away from BULLSEYE .

Now in case you still want to know what is this concoction all about for sheer curiosity, read on.....
In order of appearance :

John - Vidya (0.5 of the 2.5 ) - Muslim girl married to Hindu boy, both working for TIMES NOW (what times have come!!) ...Now post opening song and meandering few reels, vidya suffers an accident due to which she suffers retrograde amnesia which is nothing but in filmi parlance - convenient amnesia !! She remembers everything of her life except for the fact that John was signed for this movie to play her husband !! Vidya delivers a good performance in her first performance oriented role, John however earnest, is a misfit . Watch out for a good sequence involving sfx and sleek editing where in John brings Vidya to his filmi set house .

Govinda - Shannon (1 of the 2.5 ) - Cabbie from delhi but also seen driving cab in and around mumbai locales ( call it cinematic liberties, pls), who is only longing for a day wherein he can fall in love with a foreign passenger ! Talk about Great Expectations of Life....
The intro scene between the two has been done well . Govinda shines / Shannon sparkles in this boy meets girl story and takes the story towards the finale....

Akshaye - Ayesha (1 of the 2.5) - A rich brat (dunno any other background of this character), living out of a house which looks like a Lounge Bar Set Up and a close friend with handycam (what a scripting handicap!!) . He is commitment phobic towards the institution of marriage . Engaged to Ayesha, daughter of a retired army officer . Welcome to the world of choreographed Bachelor Parties and lavish lunches....This story invokes few chuckles thanks to the hyperactive performance from Akshaye and restrained performance from Ayesha....

Salman-Priyanka - Sorry, no story ! Salman essaying a role of Rahul, but for some reason pronounces his name through out as RAUL rhyming with OWL . But he surely looks like a Dude ka Dude, Pony Ka Pony !!
Priyanka hams inducing hamstring pulls in the audience.

Anil-Juhi - Story based in london . Shameless rip off of the hollywood romantic Dance with me, but botched up severly like a serial killer on loose .

Sohail - Isha - Horny Toad for a husband and Lusty Life for a wife , did evoke few chuckles from front benchers and embarassed smiles from families....nothing more to write about .....

Songs are also budget savers for the producers since the songs have all the protoganists . Quite a few hummable numbers, my fav being Ya Rabba, title song , Saiyyan Rey.....

Background score by SEL was good and situational...

Replace the ensemble starcast and empty theatres / multiplexes will greet you ...

The movie ends with a scene similar to the opening scene involving John / Vidya ....audiences were seen running out thronging the exit points, lest the 23 reel movie begins again....!!!

For all those rumours on movie inspired from Love Actually, this is absolutely Love Not Factually.